Literally lateral

One of the many joys of collecting articles, notes, reading materials etc., and filing them under different folders is finding something when you least expect it. As is this discovery today – an old but interesting list of questions that requires you to think laterally if you wish to solve them.

There are five questions here. Don’t look at the answers immediately after each question but try answering all of them and then scroll down for the answers.

Good luck!

  1. A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?
  2. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in three years. Which room is safest for him?
  3. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday? (or day names in any other language)
  4. A man is wearing black shoes, socks, trousers, coat, gloves and ski mask. He is walking down a back street, with all the street lamps of. A black car is coming towards him with its light off, but somehow he manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?
  5. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones? (This is logical than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used as an interview question by a leading software company for prospective employees.)

Here, are the answers….

  1. They were two of a set of triplets (or quadruplets). This simple puzzle stumps many people. They try outlandish solutions involving test-tube babies or surrogate moms. Why does the brain search for complex solutions when there is a much simpler one available?
  2. The third. Lions that have not eaten in three years are dead!
  3. Sure you can. Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow!
  4. It was day time.
  5. A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped down the diagonal of the manhole. A round manhole cannot be dropped down a manhole. So for safety and practicality, all manhole covers should be round.
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Holy cow!

The College of Veterinary and Animal Sciences, Pookot in Wayanad district of Kerala, has launched two products in the market – ‘Cow Urine’ and ‘Panchagavya’ – targeted at the organic farming sector.

The neatly packed ‘Cow Urine’ is, well, just that – cow’s urine. Panchagavya, though, is a cocktail of milk, ghee, curd, cow urine and, hold your breath (literally)…………….cow dung.

One can safely say the veterinary college now has two strong brands in its arsenal – no pun intended!

“Cow’s urine is meant to improve the plant resistance while Panchagavya will help the growth of favourable soil bacteria and thereby improve soil fertility,” said a college official. Apparently, the two products can help reduce the use of pesticides and chemical fertilizers to a great extent.

The product quality is ensured by collecting the first urine of the cow every day. It’s not clear how one would figure out which is the cow’s first urine of the day. What if the cow gets up in the middle of the night to pee? Would someone be sitting backstage and monitoring the cows? The official promised to loo…….k into the matter.

The veterinary college seems to have worked out a marketing strategy for its flagshit brands; well…..I mean flagship brands. Starting with the 4 Pees!

The first pee – the product – is clear though. The colour might not be, but the product is. We are told it is to look like water. Looks like a clear attempt to segment without pigment.

The second pee – price – aims at the m’ass market. The maximum retail pee is pegged at Rs.5 per litre. Panchagavya, the milky shit, is to be sold for Rs.50 per litre.

Not much info has been provided about the third pee – place – how the urinal and shit are to be distributed. Dispensed directly from the source, probably.

The fourth pee – Promotion – is being worked out. The college doesn’t have sufficient money to advertise in the mass media and hence may resort to below the line promotion – in line with the product’s origin! Would the two products generate any word of mouth publicity? Doubtful with the all the stink.

As of now the college doesn’t have plans to export the two products. The urine isn’t going foreign; at least not yet.

If you peep (damn my pun again) further, you hear the college claiming that cow pee can be an important ingredient in many ayurvedic medicines. Apparently, it can be used in the treatment of major ailments like peptic ulcer, certain type of cancer, live ailments, asthma etc. It’s not clear whether those suffering from the diseases might prefer the pee over peaceful death!

Morarji Desai would have turned in his grave……and smiled!

However, the official warned that their brand – Cow Urine – cannot be used for pharmaceutical applications. Why? For pharmaceutical use, it has to be produced under the strict supervision of an ayurvedic doctor, the official added.

Supervised? I wonder how one could supervise cow peeing. Sit in a chair 24×7 and watch the waterfall?

We could keep talking about these two products till the cows come home but let me sign off.

You probably are pissed. I have to, too!

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