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Eat your words!

If you wish to be on a diet, go on a diet with words first!

Say you want to avoid pizza or other junk food that is offered. You tend to use the word ‘can’t’, right?

‘The pizza looks delicious, but I can’t have it coz I am trying to eat healthy’.

Yet, you wonder why you finally yield to your temptation!

In 2010, two consumer psychologists asked people who were interested in healthier eating to participate in a study about ways to do so more effectively. Participants were told that each time they were faced with temptation they should try a specific strategy to avoid giving in.

Half the people were asked to take the normal approach of saying ‘I can’t’.

Other people, were asked to asked to say, ‘I don’t’.

They were then asked a few questions and were made to complete certain tasks that were actually unrelated to what the psychologists actually had in mind.

When the participants finished the tasks and were about to leave, they were offered a choice between two snacks as thanks for agreeing to participate in the study. They either could have a candy bar or a healthier granola bar.

75% of people who said ‘I can’t’ picked a candy bar. But among those who said ‘I don’t’, the number of people picking the candy bar was cut in half.

Saying ‘I don’t’ rather than ‘I can’t’ double people’s ability to avoid temptation and stay with healthier foods.

Psychologists have an explanation for this behaviour. When we say ‘I can’t’, we are telling ourselves we are unable to do something coz of some external constraints. In other words, saying ‘I can’t’ imply that we want to do the thing but something or someone else is getting in the way.

On the other hand, when we say ‘I don’t’, it suggests something more permanent. It sounds we are reflecting an entrenched attitude within us. It helps you avoid temptation coz it makes you feel empowered. It tells you are in control. This feeling of empowerment helps trump temptation. Since, those goals were yours in the first place!

If you wish to diet, eat your words first!

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Imitation Is Better Than Flattery!

Would copying help?

In an exam, yes, as long as you don’t get caught. It life, it works too. If you do it without making it look obvious.

Imitation, as they say, is the best form of flattery. In psychology, imitating someone is called Mirroring. Also called Isopraxism, Mirroring, is a neurobehaviour we display in which we copy others, their speech patterns, vocabulary, tempo, tone of voice and body language – for our benefit!

If you don’t believe, look at young couples who have just fallen in love. You will see them walking in the beach with their steps in perfect synchrony. You can spot newlyweds standing in almost similar manner.

The operating words here are ‘just fallen in love’ and ‘newly weds’. Since passage of time tends to change things drastically.

Psychologist Richard Wiseman did a study using restaurant waiters to understand if Mirroring worked better than waiters flattering their customers. He wanted to know how waiters could connect with total strangers.

He made one group of waiters lavish praise on customers, who ordered, using words like ‘That’s a great choice’, ‘No problem, I can do this for you’ etc.

He made the other group of waiters just Mirror the customers language. After the customer gave the order, the waiters noted down the order and simply repeated it to the customers to ensure they had got it right.

The average tip of the waiters who Mirrored the customers were 70% more than those who flattered!

You don’t need to be only a waiter to practice Mirroring. It will help if you are in Sales too. When you wish to build rapport with your customer, subtly imitate his behaviour during the sales interaction. If he folds his hands, do the same slowly and subtly. Your client will feel a sense of acquaintanceship and comfort with you – starting point for a successful conversation!

Mirroring works. Irrespective of whether you wish to induce or seduce someone!

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